Baby fever.....?

........HMMMMMMMMMMMM............MAYBE?

~I am~

~I AM THANKFUL. This has not always been an easy walk for me.

~I am disappointed. We have missed family gatherings, weddings, birthday parties, church activities and holidays because of shift schedules and overtime.

~I am patient. There have been dinners spent at the firehouse waiting for daddy to return from a call while the kids get cranky and the food gets cold.

~I am nervous. I awake at 3 am hearing creaks in the house and don't have the comfort of my husband beside me.

~I am tired. The house is full of sick kids and there is no relief in sight because daddy is on a seventy-two hour shift.

~I am jealous. Jealous of all the women whose husbands came home at 5 pm to have dinner and hold them at the end of their day.

~I am worried. I worry that he may not come home one day. This I try to tuck away.

~I am content. We have decided to give up my career so I can stay home and raise the children. We don't have an abundance of things or money, but this is the greatest freedom I have ever known.

~I am incompetent. There was a time when I considered myself moderately intelligent. I now struggle to remember where I left my car keys, diaper bag, and, occasionally, the baby.

~I am waiting. Knowing the phone may one day ring for me.

~I am doubting. Doubting that God hears all my prayers. Doubting I am the kind of wife and mother He needs me to be.

~I am trusting. Trusting that my husband will come home again.

~I am confident, I am embarrassed, I am lonely, I am surprised, I am grateful, I am proud, I am honored, I am overworked, I am underpaid.

~I am......a fireman's wife.~

wonderful words from Susan Farren's book 'The Fireman's wife' with a little of me added in there.

Bigger then me...http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fblba.us%2Fi.asp%3Fid%3D345628-300155812-1&h=75370

Today I registered for the Susan G. Komen race for the cure. I am excited to get involved but sad for the circumstances. In the last 2 years 4 of the most beautiful woman I know have fought/are fighting the fight of a their lives! My heart breaks for these brave woman who are hurting but I am encouraged and moved by their stories and strength. It makes me look outside myself and my problems and just be thankful.

Today I was able to lift, hug and wrestle my little boy....my friend who has a son 6 months older then Noah, who is fighting for her life, couldn't.......I woke up this morning thinking about all my donting tasks.....my friends woke up thankful for another day of life......I complained about my bras being old and raggy...my friend was thankful the doctors knew how to remove both her breast in effort to save her life.....I ended my day wishing I hadn't waisted so much time on pointless meaningless things....my friend will fall asleep feeling sick from chemo......

No matter what the circumstances are going on in your life right now, stop and praise God for all the good in your life!

Long time no write......

WOW! Its been a LONG time since the last time I've written! We are continuing to follow Gods will for our lives on a very daily basis. God provides our daily needs in big ways! From bread and milk to school and a place to live, GOD IS SO AMAZING AND POWERFUL! This journey that we have been on for the last two years has been both been challenging and rewarding! I am looking forward to what God has in store for us around each corner! Well thats all I can write at this moment but keep looking for more blogging.....

Gods amazing love and provision!

I told myself on new years eve that blogging would be my newyears resolution so I can look back and remember ALL THAT GOD HAS DONE FOR US THIS LAST YEAR. I don't remember what I posted last so I'll just catch up quickly; In December we received a phone call from an old frined of Steven's saying that the church steven grew up in owns a house that they'd love for us to stay in for free if we fixed it up! We went to look at it and it was in bad shape. But due to my HARD working hubby and the help of many family and friends we got it to be "move-in-able"! Yeah! 4 days after we got that offer the fire academy called and said that steven made it into the spring academy! The awesom part about it is that the house is .5 miles from the station where he's doing his training! We couldn't be more blessed by Gods gracious gift! Especially considering the fact that the academy is from 5:20am-7pm 6 days a week! A commute would've ment Steven not seeing Noah 5-6 days a week. A job that has been Steven's for about 8 years is filing our taxes. That means going to a meeting with my dad for hours on end with the tax man, yeah. But this year he is in the academy and lucked out of it. On my way to the meeting I told him "you owe me big time buddy"! Little did I know that God was going to meet me in that meeting in huge ways! The tax man talked for what seemed like forever about how we're all dumbed and my dad and he reminissed about the good ol days......while I sat there and thought that it would be less painful to eat my own foot! We then started taking care of all of our personal taxes and then the comapany taxes. FUN, FUN (SARCASM). Then the tax man turned to me and said "Steven made 26K-ish last year"! I could not believe that he made about a 1/4 of what he had last year, we added a person and we are still alive!!!!!!!! I left that meeting on such a high and so amazed at how HUGE our God! I can seriously thank this horrible economy for renwing a deep love and trust in my Savior that had been getting growing faint for some time! Thank you Jesus for your love and provisions! On a different note Noah is GRWOING, GROWING, GROWING! And Steven seems to think that he needs a sibling to play with soom. Hmmmmm......we'll see babe, we'll see. Steven is doing soooo well in the academy, he has been noticed in big ways and they are seeing a man of integrity and talent. Please be praying that it will be the Lords will for him to be stationed quickly and locally as soon as possible. until next time......I love you all!

God is good!

Praise be to God for his mercy and provisions! God has been so good to us over the last 9 months! We can see His mighty hand in everything from loosing our house to moving with a baby at just 6 weeks old to now living with some "extended" family while steven finishes school! God is so good! We couldn't be more blessed!

I last posted in June which feels like forever ago. So much has changed since then! Steven passed his EMT class and has high recommendations from his professors! He graduated #3 getting a 97% in the over all class! After that he took the national registry and passed with an A as well! He is now a licenses/registered EMT! He will be applying for ambulance companies and Fire department AO positions this weekend! After his first rotation in an ambulance he came home and said that he feels God calling him to be a firefighter paramedic! Which is only about 2 years less of school then a doctor! YIKES! I thought to myself, but I could see a passion burning in his eyes, one only the Lord can give! Now we are looking into him going to UCLA starting in the summer of 2010! We are also praying he gets into the academy in the spring. He started his fall semester about 3 weeks ago and is loving it! It is tough right now with sleep for him since we are sharing a room with Noah, so please be praying for that!

Noah is almost 7 months old! I just can't believe it! Its just too fast! He is so active, constantly wanting to go go go! He has (since my last post) started eating baby food, is almost crawling, can sit on his own and has 9 teeth! We have also discovered his LOVE for swimming! We have spent so much quality mommy and me time in grandpa's pool this summer! I pray daily that the Lord grabs a hold of his heart and never lets go!

Things we are looking forward to in the next year!

1. baby Noahs first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas!

2. Steven getting into the academy!

3. Noah's first birthday!

4. Many of my friends getting married and having babies!

5. Graduating the academy

6. Starting UCLA!

May I write in pencil and have God write in pen!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

catching up

So, I haven't been on in while, a long while! I think Tuesday nights after the little man guys to sleep will be my blog night! Steven just started an intensive crash course (8 weeks instead of 18 weeks) in EMT! He had his first test last night and got an A! He needs to get a B over all average or they fail him, yikes! But I guess thats good because we wouldn't want a bunch of C or lower students coming to our houses to save us, right? We are in desperate need of work! The Lord is providing our daily needs but we are starting to get behind! And the last 8 years we have taken pride in never being behind and staying a little a head!

We also celebrated Steven's first father day 3 days ago! We had fun making him breakfast, going to church and relaxing! I am truly the luckiest gal to have such a wonderfully dedicated man as the father of my son!

I am not looking forward to Noah's second set of shots tomorrow! I hate being a mom at times like this! My poor baby looks at me like "why are you letting them do this to me?". I cant stand it! He turned 4 month on saturday and is getting SO big! He has been rolling over and trying to start to crawl! I can't believe it! Time is flying by!